Oh things things I would do......

Oh... the things I would do to you you sack of shit.....

If we were all on a plane going across the mountains in a snow storm and went down... IF I let you survive that because lets face it, I do have common sense and there would be WAY too many witnesses to kill... when it was time to scavange the countryside for food and we all went our seperate  ways, I would stalk you like I was the Lion and you, the the FAT ASS Antelope... I would snipe you from a tree with my Swiss army knife that I snuck onto the plane just in case this scenario actually happened,

and then I would kill you. I would then proceed to beat the shit out of your face so no one would recognize you, then I would take you back to base and tell everyone this amazing story of how I killed this Black Bear and thought everyone should reap the benefits of having me survive the crash. They would all cheer and crown me their leader and no one would even realize you are gone until one of the quiet ones notices we are all happy and realizes its because you are no longer there. We would slow roast you over a fire pit we started with our combined lighters that we use on the cigarettes you don't like .... but I wouldn't eat... I would just sit back and giggle every time someone too a bite out of your ass and glow with happiness and contempment.

Today at work with my old people.. fat ass was on the rampage. She decided that telling me I was incompetent and pretty much questioning my ability to do anything wasn't enough for her... she had to start picking on ALL the white people that I work with... cocky bitch....

anywhoo... one of my super sweet old ladies named Josie was upset because her daughter was coming to visit her tonight and her nails looked like shit. They were all chipped and snarly so I told her that I would do them for her. I had my wing-man Gerry keep a lookout and I started to take off the polish, shape them and re-paint them. Whenever anyone who might bitch would come close, Gerry, being the awesome old time military man he is, would say, "Incoming".. and we would stop. All of a sudden, the bitch comes walking up and Gerry says, "Incoming"... she gets all pissed off and says, "What the heck is that supposed to mean? Are you talking about me Gerry?" Without missing a beat, my sweet old lady Josie says, "Yes,  you stupid black bitch, he was... and leave my Lisa alone... " I almost pissed myself... but that wasn't all of it...... the best was when the bitch got all shitty and said, "I cant believe you just said that to me"

My old lady says, "Well I did... why don't you got eat some fried chicken and and get the hell outta my face !"

GOD BLESS the DAY JOSIE WAS BORN  !!!!!!