How am I an F-in freak for that???

ok.. I am at work and this guy that delivers meds is always busting my balls about talking sex.. he wants to but we always have my old people around so I tell him not right then.. well.. today no old people were around so we talked shop. he asked me what type of name I liked to be called so I told him that when he's hitting it from the back, if he grabbed my hair (the right way), leaned in and growled in my ear that I was a dirty whoare then bit the shit out of me... that would do it.. He seemed to like that idea.. so the we kept talking and I went a bit more into it. Then, when he was getting ready to leave, he noticed  a lizard that has been hanging out at my desk all day. He asked what that was and I told him it was my buddy who likes to hang out with me and he said I was an f-in freak...lmao... I said, "I just told you some pretty sick shit I like to do and you think I'm a freak for letting a lizard hang out at my desk.... how is that possible?" so he says, "reptiles are sick shit Lisa.."   and walks away....lmao... i'll never get some men...

Like an Episode of Melrose Place

Back Story

My friend Rose has a husband and a boyfriend, and they both live with her. She and her boyfriend have the master bedroom and her husband has the bigger of the spear bedrooms. One of their daughters who  is 23 still lives at home and in the smaller of the spear rooms with her boyfriend and their 2 dogs. Rose and her husband have been separated for 3.5 yrs now.. he has girlfriends, which he did before they got separated hence the separating.. anywhoo.. She has been dating her boyfriend for about 2.5 yrs now and they have been living together for 2 of them. Her husband was living with one of his girlfriends at Rose's mothers Condo while Grandma lived with Rose but then Grandma got better and her husband moved back in. They haven't gotten a divorce because they said it is too much money and they all actually live well together, all under the same roof...lol.. Her husband and boyfriend actually stick up for each other and cook meals for everyone.. all one big happy dysfunctional family..lol

                                                                Dilemma
The dilemma she is having is that in a few days, it will be her and her husbands 30th wedding anniversary, and she didn't know what to do since they are still married. So, I asked her if they were going to go out and celebrate it.... Rose and her boyfriend... her husband and his girlfriend...all together...LMAO... sorry.. I need a minute.

Ok.. I'm better now... If I didn't know her for the past 12 years I would have sworn she would have slapped the shit out of me... but instead, she said, "Hmmmm.. I wonder if they would go for it?"....lol...   This is why I love this woman. She doesn't even give a damn and rightly she shouldn't... for so many years she put up with girlfriends out the ass and always took him back.... and now it is her time.... to Mind F her husband..lol.... and I can only PRAY that I am privileged enough to have front row seats..


When is enough enough? When do you get to that point when you say, " You have finally done it.. you have finally pushed me past the realm of no return and now you are going to pay!"

It took her 27 years... it only took me 8.... YES.... finally got a clue faster than someone freakin else.... Woohoooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Goodreads | Saying Yes: Naughty Nooners by Barbara Elsborg - Reviews, Discussion, Bookclubs, Lists

Goodreads Saying Yes: Naughty Nooners by Barbara Elsborg - Reviews, Discussion, Bookclubs, Lists: "I liked this short story... not as erotic as I would have liked but good just the same.

Who doesn't want to hide from the world in an appartment and try to pick up the peices of their broken lives. What one doesn't expect is to find another person, just like them, naked in a bathroom. And hell... why your at it... why not let some strange naked man with a hard on that can split wood climb into your bathtub with you for a quick wash down....lol... It was a fun quick read and funny ta boot... I read it while in the waiting room at my therapist office.. laughing and giggling out loud... the other people had no problem understanding why I was in therapy..lol... Read It!!"

Get off my ballz PLEASE!!!!

ok... I know that my track record for school is not the best, and my mothers knows this as well.... hell.... anyone with half an F-in brain cell that has met me can tell that I partied WAY TOO MUCH in college.. hence the working three shitty jobs (money wise) and the fact that I can barely spell and when I go places with smart ppl I keep a pocket dictionary in my purse so as to A) understand what their saying and B) not sound like a D-bag.... I know that unless I am actually going to put forth the effort, I will not spend the money to go back to school. Its freakin expensive and I have enough student loans from the first go around to keep my ancestors paying those sons of bitches. So, when we are talking about my work and how I enjoy what I do but wish I had more free time... the last thing I need is this crazy bitch bustin my ballz aboot going back to school... What she seems to forget is that I still need to work full time and that it is kind of difficult to do that when you are going to school full time.
Jesus... I should know by now not to talk to her about things... have I been thinking about going back to school... yes... but she just wont let the hell up... it makes me want to kill her.

Speaking of killing her... I was going through some papers the other day and found one of my many well planned out schemes on how I would kill her.. perfectly drawn out to make it look like a total accident or some "random" act of violence... but NOOOO... thanks to F-in Bones and stupid bastards in CSI.. they shot those plans straight to hell. It amazes me that I was so creative in ways to do it just to be knocked down another peg by bitch ass Temprence Brennen and Mother F-in Gill Grisom....  Now... Anthony Dinoso can F me and my plans up anytime he wants to... lol...

I wont "really" kill my mother but shit... it was always nice to have a damn backup plan.

Watch out if thiis goes through....

why? because itks from my smart phone... whoootie whoooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am a TOTAL D-BAG

Oh Lisa... dont say that aboot yourself... your not that F-in r-tarded... oh really.... YES I AM. I have been texting back and forth with poor, POOR Matty who God love him has been trying to help the menatlly challenged me try to figure out what the hell it is that I am doing wrong on this F-in computer. WELL, I have figured it out.... SOME HOW, I had created 2 blogs with the same name and something wasnt going through so i had to delete the other one and have only this one which is fine but for the the love of Jimminie Christmas... it would have been nice just ONCE if I didnt come out of this looking like more of a shmuck then when I went in.

The sad part is that I work at a nursing home.. and some of those old as hell sons of bitches can use computers, and smart phones, and digital cameras and upload shit like it was no ones business. Funny part about that... my old man Gerry.. love him... but anyway,... my old man Gerry asked me one day when I was having a problem with my computer at work.. I told him that the retarded machine wasnt working... and this old bastard had the balls to say to me, "Is it the machine thats retarded or the user, you jackass"... I thought I was going to slap his depends right off his old ass until it registered that i am the retarded one so we laughed so hard he pissed his pants... heheheheh... revenge was mine!

But, back to the blog...lol.... now hopefully for me, but God help all of you, I will be able to figure out how to send shit from my phone... now THAT will rock my cocks right the F off.

Goodreads | Dead Reckoning (Sookie Stackhouse, #11) by Charlaine Harris - Reviews, Discussion, Bookclubs, Lists

Goodreads Dead Reckoning (Sookie Stackhouse, #11) by Charlaine Harris - Reviews, Discussion, Bookclubs, Lists: "I am so pissed off at this moment I can't even explain it. What was this woman thinking? Why does she do this to me every time she writes and F-ing book about Sookie? I really can't handle myself right now.

Ok.. Eric and Sookie are together... he loves her, she loves him but still has hangups about is it the bond or is it how I feel. She gets some answers from her cousin and great-uncle... Dermot is TOTALLY growing on me... he is a cutie.. Claude is a horses ass... Amelia comes to FUCK EVERYTHING UP!!! Even though she thought she was helping... and Sookie is just stupid enough to go along with it... Poor Pam... I feel so bad for her. I love the fact that she was sticking up for Sookie and trying to get around Eric's evasiveness about telling Sookie what's happening... and that stuff with Miriam..

All I have to say is that Eric better be able to get out of this F-ing contract and Sookie better not do anything F-ing retarded like sleep with Bill again or try to do any more damage to her relationship with Eric than she already has... if she does I SWEAR TO GOD... I WILL STOP READING ANYTHING THIS WOMAN WRITES... I WILL BOYCOTT EVERYTHING... EVEN THE SHOW...

I might change my mind when I am not so pissed but prob. Not....

PS.... I STILL WISH BILL WOULD DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I think I have it

Holy C on a crutch... I didnt think I was ever going to figure this shit out... anywho... I have taken it on myself to start a blog which Matty said I should do. Sometimes the things that go through my mind need to get out and most times than not... they are pretty F-ed up things..lol... soooooo...

I was thinking about it today as I watched Billy Madison.... if I had to go back to elementary school and pass all over again... I could pass prob. everything  but Spelling... well, lets be honest... ALL LANGUAGE ARTS... I cant spell for the life of me, cant use correct punctuation, and I LOVE run on sentances or sentances that arnt even full sentences.. and who decided that a sentence was a sentence anyway? Plus, why jump my shit when I send you a text and it says, "What r u doing?" I dont care if I have a full keyboard on my cell phone or not... what does it matter to you...you are getting the same message no matter how the hell I spell it so shut the hell up. And although its not illegal in Florida yet to not use your cell when you drive... if you KNOW that I am on the road, and you text me, then I am at a stop light and text you back... WHY THE HELL ARE YOU YELLING AT ME TO NOT TEXT AND DRIVE??!! First off.. at a stop light Jack Wagon and second... its your fault in the first friggin place... damnit...
You know... if this works out for me... I could possibly cut back on my therapy bills....lol... helllz yeah

This is driving me nuts.....

I wonder if this will show up.... gggrrrrrrrr