Tonight at the nursing home I had a woman come to me and ask if I had the "Misfortune" or meeting her brother. When I told her no, that he had come in on days I was off.. she laughed and said lucky you. She got so pissed because her mother had a stroke back in 06 and her brother is just now coming to see her.. to make sure if she is ok. The mother thinks that this son, and the son in prison walk on fucking water and that the daughter that comes in everyday to see her is a piece of shit. When I commented on this, and how sometimes I would like to stick my brothers in a fiery car and push them off a tall cliff, she said, "Having siblings can suck a teet!" and then she walked off....
NOW, after I was done almost pissing myself because of the way this woman just bust out with it, another family member came up and said that her mother has completely forgotten her younger pain in the ass sister who never gave a shit about her mother, and that she was never ever again going to remind her mother about the other daughter because her mom was so much nicer now thinking she only has the one daughter..lol...
"It's nice to finally be fucking number 1"... then she laughed and walked away..
I can honestly say that my brothers and I know that no matter how much my mother might talk her shit about loving us all equally... that she doesn't have a favorite... we know this to be complete and total bullshit. We don't mind.. with her there is a hierarchy... a number 1,2 and 3 spot for her three children. My brother Matt ALWAYS occupies the number 3 spot... he likes it there.... Danny and I are forever teeter-tottering back and forth for the numbers 1 and 2 position. Whoever is not the biggest disappointment, gets the number 1 position while the other falls to number 2 and then Matt brings up the rear. One day I remember telling Matt, "I wish I was like you sometimes" When he asked why I told him that I would KILL to not give a fuck as much as he doesn't give a fuck.."HOW do you do it brother?" He has kept it his little secret... he wont ever give it up... so then I asked him if it ever bothers him that he is always number 3. That GENIUS said to me, "The more time they spend paying attention to what the fuck you two douche bags are doing... the less time they have to really pay the fuck attention to me.. and I like it that way so don't fuck up so much that you fuck my shit up sister... I will not be happy"..lol... God love that smart, smart brother of mine.
So then I started to ponder...... what would it take to be at the bottom of the barrel.... what the fuck would I have to do to be sent down to the bowels of hell which is known as number 3? Would murder do it? Would chopping up special ed people on their way to the special Olympics be the way to go? Would taking out a billboard telling everyone in town my mothers REAL AGE do the trick... lmao.. no, that would be grounds for her murdering me actually..lol.. the fucking woman is 38 years old AGAIN.. for like the 15th fucking year in a row...hahahhahahaha
I called my older brother to ask him what he thought I could do to be at the bottom of the sibling heap. He then asked, "Why the fuck would I know... your mom is my step-mom... I don't know what the fuck would piss her off enough for her to banish you to number 3 status. And what the fuck to do care for anyway? Your pops favorite... the bastard doesn't even try to hide it either..lol... I mean Jesus H Christ Lisa... when his grand kids asked him if he had a favorite child.. when most people would be like you mom and say, Oh, I love my children all the same..... our fucking father tells them.. My favorite is your Aunt Lisa... hands down.. so if you want to be my favorite grandchild... ask her how to do it..... How fucked up is that sister?"
After I caught my breather and stopped laughing so hard I really thought about it and said Fuck It.... as long as I'm daddy's favorite... where I land on moms list doesn't really matter... although, I would really like it if she got up off my ass about every little fucking thing she doesn't like about my life because believe you fucking me.... there are A LOT of little things she doesn't like or agree with... but, taking a page out of my brothers book....
I'm not giving a shit...
until the Ginny guilt gets kicked into over drive....
then I'll prob cry in the corner rocking back and forth asking for forgiveness...
because when it comes to my mother...
I AM SCARED SHITLESS OF THAT WOMAN.....lol...
REALLY.
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