Banana's -n- Gimps

Ok, Last night I was watching an episode of Law and Order: SVU. A young woman, prob. in her teens, and her mother come home to their Town House on Park Avenue only to find the father/husband, chained up to the fireplace looking like Right Said Fred in a Gimp outfit... mask and all.

Now, when they walk into the den and find Daddy chained up to the fire place, the girl runs screaming, "Daddy, No !! No!!" and the mother just stands there looking at him kind of laughing to herself as in says, "Jesus Christ.. I cant believe he did this to me."

Stabler and Benson come rolling out there, Benson talks to the wife who "Cant believe this happened" Stabler talks to the daughter who says, yes, she was with her mother but not because she wanted to be. When Stabler asked her what she meant, the daughter says, "She's a real bitch!" ..lol... it was awesome.

You want to know the best part about all of it was....

Daddy had a BANANA

shoved up his poop shoot!!!!

HAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHA.....

That's frigging awesome... Bonus.. he was allergic to Bananas....   :)

Now, I am not a Poop Shoot type of gal, but if I was, the last thing I would think about shoving in my ass would be a banana.. why? Because I would think that the sphincter muscles would squish that banana like it was no ones business.. Then, you would have banana pudding in your ass and when you shit, it would be even worse because you would have to pull out the veins of the banana the way I have to pull the plastic bread bag out of my dogs ass, after she eats the whole loaf, and she cant shit it out.

What type of shit is that... it's like a ... fuck, I don't even want to think what it's like..lol...

Banana's shouldn't be used in that way... cucumbers, ok....NOT BANANAS !! They are good for you..in a nutritional way... not an up your ass way... honestly.. wouldn't your ass muscle just squish it as soon as the soft part parted the muscle.. unless your ass has been fuck THAT MUCH to where you could slide a fucking fist right in with no problem... shit...

Poor banana being molested by the big bad bi-sexual man in SVU....

I'm watching you Banana.. sexy banana... like to touch you.. want to touch your hiney... ahhhh banana... you so know I like to touch you that way.. yes sexy banana.. I love that look, it's like a Tiger..   GGrrrrrrrrrrr... now purr for me banana.. purrrrrrrrr..

LMFAO !!

I didnt know you could use honey that way.....

I read a book yesterday that was pretty interesting.
 It was called

 Big Bad Wolf by Flesa Black.

It had an ok plot that had been done before but it was a different take on the Were community.. how they can be born or made.. turn mad from the shift or die... and it had some Olympic style sex... the kind with toys and sex wedges and handcuffs/ankle shackles....  all super fun stuff...

NOW... my only problem, which really isn't a problem, just a curiosity I guess of sorts... is they have a bout of sex in the kitchen, at the table, for breakfast. Rex brings out the honey and drizzles it all over Vivian's body, licks it off ... yadda, yadda, yadda.....   Then, he pulls her off of his dick, hands her the jar of honey and raises his eyebrow at her. She thinks, just like I thought, that he wanted her to slather the honey on it, then suck and lick it off.... isn't that what you all thought?  Well no......... he wanted her to slather honey on his dick and use the honey

as Lube to stick it in her

Ass.

Now, I guess I can understand that you could possibly use honey as a lubricant for anal sex but wouldn't that be

A: VERY MESSY

B: Kind of uncomfortable

C: Dangerous for your Bowels

and

D: Dangerous for the extra honey that slides in and out and then eventually into your vagina. It has feces on it people... Thats fucking gross!!

I really don't want to know how you could clean out all the honey from your colon. Unless one of you has used honey as anal lube before... then PLEASE tell me... because now I am curious beyong fucking belief. What would happen if you didn't get it cleaned out, would stuff get stuck in the honey and not be able to come out correctly and then the next thing you know, you have to go to the hospital and get your colon scraped. That just sounds like it hurts. How the fuck would you explain that to your doctor.. fuck that... your insurance company when they ask why you had to have your colon scraped..lol...

 Plus, you have got to think, sand it hard to get out of your vagina when you get home from the beach... how the hell are you getting honey out .. of all the sticky, syrupy, messy shit you can stick in your body..... Jesus Christ people.. a little fucking common sense is in order when you are shoving food items in your ass.. or when it can ooze out of your ass and into your vagina.... your gynocologist is going to be pissed the fuck off if your paps keep coming back abnormal because of honey contamination..lol..... Plus.. getting honey in your pee hole.. not just for the ladies but for the guys as well... what happens if it dries in your urethra and then you cant pee.. you have to go to the hospital, AGAIN, and get your pee hole debred... shit.. that just sounds like it would suck balls.

OHHHHHH... the humanity... you would have to go Full Monty with a razor as well because there is NO FUCKING WAY that you will be able to salvage any type of pubic hair after a bout of honey anal sex... oh... what if they have a hairy poop shoot.... that would suck even more...

Shit People.......... DONT DO IT!!!!  

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha