Showing posts with label Gerry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gerry. Show all posts

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Antzy in their Pantzy....







It is full moon time again people which makes my old peeps fucking retarded crazy. They seriously should be siting in fucking straight jackets in padded rooms because they are nutso.

 I have one old man who keeps yelling at people as they walk by, then pulling out his weenis and peeing on the floor. Then he laughs and blows raspberry's at people and last night he yelled loudly that he was the devil and had come back for the souls of little children, then chased all the little grandchildren of residents down in his wheelchair.

One of my woman has been singing the "Star Spangled Banner" for the past 2 days and tells all the CNA's to get their "Commie Asses" away from her and that if they are not careful, she will call immigration on them.... which makes me about piss myself laughing... She said that the government put her in this place to sniff out the "Reds".

                          I swear to GOD.. she could be this woman's twin.

I have a married couple that were screaming at each other last night. "Fuck You" "No, Fuck You"... they were yelling that back and forth.. she was telling him she should have ran away with the butcher when he asked her to and left his sorry ass decades ago.. he was telling her he should have married that French Hooker he slept with while in the Service instead of coming back and being stuck with her ass all these years....  She tells him that the reason their son is an idiot is because his rotten apple didn't fall far from his tree and proceeds to tell him that she isn't even sure if their youngest daughter is his... He starts telling her that he had a better time with his hand in the past 50 years than he ever did with her body..  LMFAO.... I about died with that one.


The Full Moon makes them antzy in their pantzy, all of them. Men who live here are calling their wives at 2am, wives are not answering because they are sleeping, and husbands swear that their 80 something wives are out having affairs, dancing the night away at clubs and "USO Shows with Seamen"... is what Alphie told me... I asked him what he meant by semen and he said, "No, I said Sea-men.. not semen.. get your mind outta the gutter."  hahahaahahhahaa


I love every last crazy one of these old sons of bitches... When they are with it.. they can be a wealth of knowledge.. but when they are crazy..
there is no fucking hope for them, or for anyone around them.

I will leave you with this last story... a prime example of how my people are unhinged..
Ms. Pearl is this old southern African American woman. She was married to a "Devil Man" and then when he "died" she married a Preacher. Now, Rufus (roof-us) was her first husband. He used to go out drinking and take her with him. They would get all liquored up and dance the night away at this little place out in the boonies. Well.. they had a baby and she stayed home.. he kept going out. When she was finally able to go out after their second child was born, they went to the bar and a woman approach her and asked what she thought Ms. Pearl was doing with her man. Ms. Pearl told her to back off, that Rufus was her husband and that is why she was with him.. who the fuck was she. The woman began screaming and yelling, calling Ms. Pearl a Floozy and a Whore and that, Ms. Pearl told me, is when she lost it. She told the woman to go to hell and to keep her grubbing hands to herself. The woman came at her.. and that is when Ms. Pearl took out the little knife she kept in the band of her stockings and "slit the bitch". It was never reported because who were people going to believe.. a whore trying to steal her husband, or a respectable mother of 2. She told her family about her husband skirting around town with other women.. next thing you know, a few months later, she was a widow. One year later, she married the Preacher, and they were married until he passed away last fall.

I was STUNNED... hahahahaha.. I still am when I think about it. I asked her why she told me this and she said, "I told you this to drill one true lesson into your head.. Don't EVER, EVER, let some Dirty Whore take what is yours... by all means necessary"



Saturday, August 6, 2011

Gerry... You Old Son of a Bitch ... I cant believe you...

Okay, I don't think that Gerry is Going to be my favorite Old Man for much longer..lol..
Why you ask... because if he busts my balls one more fucking time, out of nowhere, I might have to ban him from my office.

For Example:

Thursday night, a woman comes up to me talking about how she wants to take her mother out this weekend so she can go with the grand kids and great grand kids to the



Naples Zoo..
but she wasn't sure if her mother would be able to make it the whole day.
I told her that I LOVED the Zoo and that it has been sooo long since I have been and it sounded like a great idea.
Then, all of a sudden, Gerry busts out with this....

"Lisa, you CANT go to the Zoo"
"Why not Gerry?"
"Because your not married."
"Why do I need to be married to go to the Zoo Gerry?"
"Because, your chances of getting Mauled by a Tiger are better than you getting married after 30... and we like you, we don't want you to be mauled by a tiger... so don't go!"

Now, I don't know what the FUCK Gerry was thinking when he decided to come up with this shit but when I said nothing and just sat here with my mouth wide open and just starred at him, he started laughing.

Mauled by a FUCKING TIGER GERRY  !!!!
FUCKING REALLY !!!!

You Old Dirty Bastard..
I am more likely to get MAULED by a FUCKING TIGER


than I am likely to get married

now that I am over 30. You sack of shit..lol.. is that what you told your 3rd wife when she agreed to marry your sorry ass...lol..  asshat..

I told him that I would not take offense to it because I was SURE there was some type of compliment in that statement somewhere.. something about the they liking me and not wanting me to die...lol...

He started laughing so hard that he had to go use the rest room.. he said he would be back.. and when he came, who the fuck did he bring but smart ass Mr. T.

FUCK !!!!!
Just what I needed at that time.. was a snickering Mr. Fucking T. He was cracking up.. said that I shouldn't worry because Once I hit 90, I'm more likely just to DIE instead of get married.


He said that I shouldn't even get married.. it's not worth it.. just live in sin and have babies..lol.. craziness..  all of it.
So, I assured Gerry and Mr. T that I would NOT be going to the ZOO anytime soon and that I would try to stay away from the wild roaming Tigers that live here in South West Florida.




It kills me that back in the day these bastards got married due to "Honeymoon Babies" and now they are telling me not to even get married... just to live in sin..lol.. Times sure have changed, especially when some of my old school woman are telling me not to get married as well.... woman who's reputations and virtues were protected by marriage.. telling me to fuck it.. not to do it..lol..

When some of my other residents heard us cracking up laughing in my office, they came to check out what the ruckus was all about and next thing you know, we are having a  2 hour conversation about how today differs from 50-60 years ago.. how children today have no respect for their elders, no respect or knowledge of history.. so on and so forth.
Then, my Old Lady Olive says,
"It was the Freaking Hippies that did us in... this is ALL their fault !"

lol.. Awesome !!