Tatty Tatty Too Too ....

I am thinking about adding a new tattoo or two to my body. I called my brother who works in a Tattoo Parlor and asked him to think of some things that I might like. I told him I wanted a memorial piece and then something else to either add to my left wrist or put on the hand.

So, while he is looking, I decided to take a look at some tats that people have gotten.

This one is pretty bad ass. The amount of detail is fucking amazing.

 What the fuck was this man thinking getting half a heart tattooed on each hand? Hopefully he has some kind of fucking heart condition otherwise that shit is weird.

 This bitch has daddy issues. She prob. works the pole to pay for those..

This guy should have gotten that done by someone who is NOT a fucking retard.. if you look.... that tattoo has a fucking lazy eye.. like my grandma used to have.

Now to ones that are so fucking wrong they should even be on the Internet,

Why????  Why would you do this to yourself... unless they were fucking paying you to do it. You might as well get "Heart Disease Victim" on his back... douche bag....

Please... Please... back when this tattoo was done.. that super hero was lightly holding the breast on its shoulder.. it had not a worry in the world... now a days.. that super hero is fucking struggling trying to keep that titty from completely smothering it...PUSH MAN.... PUSH THAT TITTY UP UP and AWAY !!!!!!!!

By the time she is 80 you wont even be able to see that fucker anymore.. don't sweat it.

My Personal Favorites are the fucking retards that tattoo things like Robert Pattersons signature on their bodies or these.. my mind just fucking hurts.

Yet, I digress.. I have one more to show you and it is possibly the best tattoo I have ever seen. When I say the most awesome.. I mean for one specific person.. Constance... or Cone, as she likes to be called. She is a weird fucking chick and loves a grisly adams fucking type of lumberjacker.. and best of all.. she loves her some fucking beards. So.. Cone.. This ones for you....

Oh things things I would do......

Oh... the things I would do to you you sack of shit.....

If we were all on a plane going across the mountains in a snow storm and went down... IF I let you survive that because lets face it, I do have common sense and there would be WAY too many witnesses to kill... when it was time to scavange the countryside for food and we all went our seperate  ways, I would stalk you like I was the Lion and you, the the FAT ASS Antelope... I would snipe you from a tree with my Swiss army knife that I snuck onto the plane just in case this scenario actually happened,

and then I would kill you. I would then proceed to beat the shit out of your face so no one would recognize you, then I would take you back to base and tell everyone this amazing story of how I killed this Black Bear and thought everyone should reap the benefits of having me survive the crash. They would all cheer and crown me their leader and no one would even realize you are gone until one of the quiet ones notices we are all happy and realizes its because you are no longer there. We would slow roast you over a fire pit we started with our combined lighters that we use on the cigarettes you don't like .... but I wouldn't eat... I would just sit back and giggle every time someone too a bite out of your ass and glow with happiness and contempment.

Today at work with my old people.. fat ass was on the rampage. She decided that telling me I was incompetent and pretty much questioning my ability to do anything wasn't enough for her... she had to start picking on ALL the white people that I work with... cocky bitch....

anywhoo... one of my super sweet old ladies named Josie was upset because her daughter was coming to visit her tonight and her nails looked like shit. They were all chipped and snarly so I told her that I would do them for her. I had my wing-man Gerry keep a lookout and I started to take off the polish, shape them and re-paint them. Whenever anyone who might bitch would come close, Gerry, being the awesome old time military man he is, would say, "Incoming".. and we would stop. All of a sudden, the bitch comes walking up and Gerry says, "Incoming"... she gets all pissed off and says, "What the heck is that supposed to mean? Are you talking about me Gerry?" Without missing a beat, my sweet old lady Josie says, "Yes,  you stupid black bitch, he was... and leave my Lisa alone... " I almost pissed myself... but that wasn't all of it...... the best was when the bitch got all shitty and said, "I cant believe you just said that to me"

My old lady says, "Well I did... why don't you got eat some fried chicken and and get the hell outta my face !"

GOD BLESS the DAY JOSIE WAS BORN  !!!!!!