What's in that package Mr. Postman?

I was reading the other day.. and came across a book called "The Mailman's Tale" Now, I saw the cover to this book and thought, HELL YES.. a quick smutty read and I'll be back to my series.. I just needed a little break.  I started reading it and it read like one of those stories in Playboy.. which isn't bad.

This mailman is on his normal route.. the route he has been on for years. He knows his people and they know him.. so, one day he comes up to this house that has two smoking hot sisters that live there..

The door is ajar and he realizes that is off.. so he goes inside and hears noises.. he walks up stair and comes to a bedroom door which is open some as well and peeks in. What he sees is the older of the two sisters laying spread eagle on her bed with a vibrator shoved in her pussy, and she is working it feverishly. He starts to get turned on and rubbing himself through his pants, next thing you know, she cums and he cums, he makes a noise, she realizes he is watching her, he takes off down the stairs, she chases after him and asks him to fuck her. He, of course, says yes.. takes her up to her room and fucks the shit out of her. Before she cums he hears something, looks over his shoulder and sees her younger sister watching them with her hand shoved down her own pants diddling with her twat. Girl 1 cums, mailman cums, girl 2 cums. He tells sister that younger was watching, she doesn't care, he cleans up and leaves.

A few days later, he is making his rounds and comes across the house again. He watches as sister 1 gets in the car with her parents. He walks up to the house and the younger sister answers the door and she tells him that her sister decided where she was going to college, and she just realized that she would miss her sister very much. He is kinda let down and asks to use the bathroom before he continues on his route. She says yes, and he heads to the bathroom. When he comes out, as he is leaving, girl says can you help me with something before you leave, he says sure.. what can I do for you.. she comes walking out of the kitchen with a towel on, drops it, and says that she wants him to fuck her like he fucked her sister..

She goes down to her knees, and he can tell that she is no stranger to being down there... he is about to blow his load, takes her to her room, bends her over the bed, and fucks her withing an inch of her life. She has cum a few times, he is done, and he cleans up. She asks him to cum back tomorrow, he said he wasn't sure about her parents and that they might get caught, she says they are gone for a while on vacation, he says he will be back... and its on once again...

OK... now.. my mailman has always been one of two people.. an old ass man or an annoying fucking woman. IF, my mailman was some hot piece of ass..

I still don't think I would have the balls to bring him into my parents house and fuck him senseless. NOW.. if it was the fucking smoking hot UPS driver that comes into my nursing home... then I would say Hey Mr. Postman, is that package for me? Ohhh, Mr. UPS driver.... I would definitely let you Sign, Seal, and Deliver my ass to a very happy place.

It was a fun, quick read and made me stroll the neighborhoods looking for who has the sexiest postal delivery men..lol..

Dirty Ginger Bitch.....

Let me tell you a little story about this Ginger whom is named Fucko... oh.. I'm sorry, that's my name for her.. what her given name is, I don't even give a shit. All I know is that she lives on my block. Not next door to me.. those are the Mexicans, and not next to the Mexicans.. that the drug dealer.. but next to the drug dealer is the House of the Ginger.  This fucking woman with her ginger hair and her ginger kids and her ginger fucking dog are making me want to slit a fucking wrist and believe me... not my own.

I am driving home last night from work and this ginger bitch has her fucking kids outside in the dark playing in the road. Now.. unlike the drug dealer whom has to smile so I can see him in the dark.. the ginger kids radiated this luminescent glow from their bodies... oh.. that was just their pale white skin.

It was horrible.. almost like a scene from fucking Children of the Corn.. I was frightened. I tried not to slow down too much just in case they were like fucking Velociraptor's from Jurassic Park

AHHHHHHH  !!!!

Oh, Shit, sorry, thought that was one of them..

AnyJew.. these kids were running all over the place causing all kinds of havoc and not even caring that someone driving a vehicle is seriously NOT trying to run them over..

These kids run rapid in their hats and long sleeved shirts outside teasing all the neighbourhood dogs making them think that the Ginger kids are actually the Mexican's who cut our lawns... My dogs hate them...

Then,when I pull into my driveway, I hear one of the Mexican's tell this Ginger Bitch to get her damn kids out of the road before someone gets run over. She has the balls to start yelling at Benny, whose real name is Benido.. and that is when I lost it. Not only are the Mexican's that live next door to us possibly the best neighbours we have ever had.. but they are really nice to boot.. so then I got into it with the Ginger Whore. I kept it clean because the kids were near but I told her that no wonder people think that

You are obviously a stupid bitch who could care less about your children's welfare and safety and more about talking on your phone and having your kids leave you alone for the time being. It's not their fault you have all these kids and no free time.. how about you get off your back long enough to get them all in school and find a fucking job! Jesus Christ.. show a little bit of fucking love for your kids. Don't take it out on them that you hate yourself.... you already fucked up their entire lives by passing that Ginger Gene down to them.... Nice going MOM. If I were you, I would sleep with one eye open for now on because your kids, if they don't yet, will totally hate you in time.. so watch out!!

Gang-bangs and Trains... ooohhhhh Adrian... Your killing me...

OK.. yesterday at work, my co-worker Adrian comes up to me and says that she needs me to find her a over six foot tall sexy as hell biker that she can just go straight to being his "old lady" and not have to be passed around the "club" before she can settle with him.  Apparently she has been watching a lot of "The Sons of Anarchy" lately and is fascinated by this man...

NOW... y'all have to know me enough by now to realize that I couldn't let that one slide.. right? RIGHT.

So, I told her that unfortunately, she was going to be gang banged and have a mad-ass

Train run on her. She might as well get used to it now.... because she is going to have to suck a lot of dick to get to be that mans "old lady"... no new piece of ass is going to come into a "Biker Club" and go straight to "old lady" status.. sorry to burst your bubble sugar pie.. but that shit ain't happenin. You might as well put on a conductors hat and scream out "Choo Choo" because you are going to be a whole bunch of someones dirty whore before you are one mans old lady..lol... you will not only have to hold your own against the women in the club but you will also more than likely have to have public sex and share your first time out... plus.. as I said before.. you will have to suck a lot of cock so I would suggest getting your knee pads out and getting rid of that gag reflex...

Remember Adrian... Open your throat and relax your jaw and most definitely don't forget to cup the balls.... LMFAO

So then... teeheehee.. I decided to test her chops on the whole sex front and God Love Madelyn for getting out one of my favorite books...

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/9572750-gotta-have-it
Gotta Have It: 69 Stories of Sudden Sex

lol.. so as I was reading aloud to Adrian and Madelyn, David and Ryan.. the new guy.. Adrian was freaking the fuck out... I mean really????? If you are ready to Live the Life of a Bad Ass Bikers Old Lady you sure as hell should be able to handle me reading a few sentences about how this mans wife is sitting at her office desk with the door locked and a big black dildo stuffed in her pussy while she is moaning and talking to her husband on the phone. He steps out of his meeting to tell her what to do to herself.. It is a pretty awesome fucking book.. and Adrian was having a fucking conniption... especially when the husband told the wife to slap her pussy loud enough for him to hear it.. to be the dirty whore he knows she is...lol.... Adrian fucking lost it.... I don't think I have ever seen her turn that shade before..

The new guy didn't mind it... and ever if he did... fuck him... he is new.. I'm not going to not be myself just because people are afraid I will scare him off... its not like I'm fucking Grimace from next door... my name is not Mahgwhy and when you spill water on me or feed me after midnight I don't spawn little gremlin devils that like to watch fucking Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.... SHIT.

Needless to say, I have found a new person to torment with my explicit erotica novels... YES!!

On a side note... before any of that happened, Adrian asked me to find Erotica books with men on Harley's.. So, I found her 7.. to start. When our district manager was standing next to her.. I knew I couldn't pass this shit up.. so I went to Adrian and asked her if she only wanted men who rode bikes or if she wanted a book with people fucking ON bikes because if she wants the latter, I will have to go to a different section.  Then I started in with a few sentences then said the word "penetration" and that was it... our DM couldn't do it and said that she and Bonnie.. (one of the awesome old ladies that work with us).. didn't need to hear it.. "right Bonnie?" Then Bonnie said, "Oh.. hahahaha.. I don't care.. she's funny" .... YES !!!!!   HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ..... SUCK ON THAT!!!

Holy Poop on a Stick that was awesome!!!!